Simply Italian, Channel4 Monday 13 August 2012

"I'm Michaela...my family's originally from Italy, and although now we live in South Wales we still cook and eat like Italians. Now I'm going to teach you how to cook just like an Italian." Thanks for the intro Michaela. Now get on with the cooking. Here we go with yet another aesthetically pleasing cookery show (where everything always goes right and no one every slops their perfect dish on the floor) with a perfect looking host all smokey-eyed make up and bright white teeth. Some have compared Michaela Chiappa with Nigella, and I must admit there are moments in the show where she does look like she is enjoying her food as much as the original domestic goddess, although albeit the naughty fridge scene that Nigella always manages to do so well in her slinky dressing gown. The little Welsh wonder in the kitchen soon sets about rustling up some yummy pasta which puts Tesco Value pasta to shame. She is so bubbly and smiley that she makes my face hurt, but man she cooks some good pasta! 

It's soon clear that SHE EATS A LOT OF CHEESE and also tucks into her food like someone who has watched way too much Nigella Lawson TV. Why she isn't much fatter I don't know. One dish she cooks includes 3 (yup 3 I said) different types of cheese (my cholesterol levels already rising just watching.) She talks often about how much she likes cheese, almost like it is an old friend, she's the sort of person who would nibble at the hard bit of cheese we all have hiding in our fridges. Oh, and she's having a joint fairytale wedding in Italy with her other perfect sister (of course they are, and it definitely won't be anything like Bride wars.) I wonder at what point they decided to have a joint wedding? Maybe when they were 7 and playing with their My Little Pony Gymnasium and eating some chunks of Parmesan?! 

Michaela makes an amazing looking yum-tastic Gnocchi tricolore with creamy nutty sauce. "I can't get over people paying money for them" she says in disbelief that people actually buy Gnocchi in the supermarket. Yes normal folk do, we don't all have your skills. But she has this way of making it all seem so easy, that I feel strong enough to get out my potato ricer (oh wait I don't have one) and make some potato-ey pillows with creamy sauce too. Now, where's my smokey eye make up and teeth whitening toothpaste, just need to work on the Welshy accent. 

Michaela has a perfect kitchen (what else did you expect) with just the right amount of designer crockery and vintage plates. She gets her band of sisters (I think there are about 15 of them) to help out as well, all playing up to the Italian family stereotype (I think this is the first time since Bella in Fireman Sam that I've seen a mix of Welsh and Italian on our TV screens.) "If your doughs too moist, add a sprinkle of flour" chirps Michaela helpfully, as her sister (lets call her Michaela no 2) empties half a jar of flour onto the table, mmmm sprinkle?! I think she was just trying to out perform her sister by ruining her food with too much flour. Another thing that she does a lot of is pepper (sorry pun intended) her speech with Italian prouniciation every time she talks about food (so often). Sometimes I feel like I'm suddenly transported into one of those Channel5 adverts for learn Italian with Rosetta Stone. 

Simply Italian is a great show for salivating over, and is a nice waste of 30 mins, and although I know my fresh pasta attempt would mainly end in tears and dough-filled hair, she has got a great knack of making Italian cooking look easy. Mmmm gnocchi. 

The 2012 Olympics, BBC1, BBC Three, BBC-everything.com

I’m reviewing the Olympics coverage, as basically there is not a whole else on telly at the mo for me to criticise or praise or pull apart! I must admit before all this sporting glory saturated our screens, I was a bit skeptical about the whole Olympic mass hysteria, which to be fair we have been reminded about for at least the last SEVEN YEARS, not helped of course by the sheer amount of Olympic tatt gracing every shelf in every shop in Britain (Olympic bow tie anyone?) But nearly two weeks in, I’m happy to confess that I’ve been drawn in good and proper. 

The BBC have really pulled out all the stops this time. I mean, Eastenders has been shoved to BBC2 for starters, when has that happened in its 25+ year East-end history?!? I’m sure Peggy Mitchell would have had none of that toot. Even BBC Three has got in on the action. You can just imagine the head of the BBC telling the controller of BBC Three “sorry mate, Snog, Marry or Avoid is going to have to be moved off the schedules while we make way for a lot of sweaty men and women exerting themselves” The coverage is really wall to wall, and I find myself flicking from BBC1 to BBC1 HD (much better) and then back to BBC Three like a sport freak. I’m even more sad, cause I have a BBC Olympics app on my phone which is just BRILLIANT! I get to see and hear the latest glories and not so glorious moments and see what the team are up to. Although I do find myself getting quite impatient when they don’t update the app as quickly as I expect (see, I told you I had been sucked in.) Also, one of my only criticisims of the beeb, is that they could do with adding some more schedules with what’s coming up, especially as I’m easily confused by the amount of cycling races and heats there were, and most of the time I’m fickle and just want to see the medal races. 

One of my favourite moments was when Clare Balding interviewed Bert le Clos, whose son Chad had just beaten the human fish (Michael Phelps) in the 200m butterfly to get gold. His father was animated, gesticulating wildly and just kept on saying “Un-be-lievable, look at my beautiful boy, he’s so handsome!” in an amazingly loud and gravelly South African accent. I think he also managed to sneak a naughty word in as well and then said “oh, is this live?” He’s a legend, doesn't matter about his son’s gold, I could watch this guy on You Tube again and again. Get him presenting something boring like cricket, that would soon spruce the commentary up. 

The BBC has a real mix of presenters this time round, some good, and then others who just sound quite dim (sorry Mark Cavendish I’m talking about you in the Velodrome.) Anyway, they certainly have brought out of the sporting presenter cupboard a whole host of names, including the enthusiastic guy who used to present Blue Peter (who secretly wanted to don his lycra & join Beth Tweedle on the mat) and former Aussie gold medal swimmer Ian Thorpe (who starts every sentence with ‘Look...’ and seems to be wearing Armani’s entire Spring/Summer range.) There was also a very animated sailing presenter who was a bit over amorous with Ben Ainsley following his gold medal win in the sailing, who practically looked like he wanted to jump in the boat with him and do a victory dance (which would have been both impractical and very dangerous given the size of the boat, or dingy or whatever watery folk call it.) 

Most sports (especially all the horsey stuff) I don’t understand the rules of (apart from Tennis) but that hasn't taken away from my enjoyment. It has been a great Olympics and the BBC has done a spiffing job, almost wiping over the fiasco of the Jubilee cringe a minute commentary I’m sure they would rather forget. Plus it’s great to see so many gutsy performances from all of those competing, and wow Team GB are doing brilliantly. Anyway I saw Andy Murray actually SMILE for the first time ever as well.  I just need Tom Daley to out-dive the Chinese now and that will be the golden cherry on the Olympic cupcake. Oh, and I admit I have bought the odd small item of Olympic memorabilia, but stopped myself at the Olympic tea cosy. I’m not that sportingly sad.  

Final thought: Just how many Olympic events do Wills, Kate and Harry (playing gooseberry) get to go to?! They are everywhere, I mean everywhere!